


The Gallery and The File

by every_fandom_ever



Series: The Soldier's Life [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Bucky Barnes, Bucky tells Steve he's the Winter Soldier, First Meetings, Light Angst, M/M, Past Torture, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 02:22:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15547500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/every_fandom_ever/pseuds/every_fandom_ever
Summary: Bucky needs someone he can trust in his life, good thing Steve is happy to help--before--





	The Gallery and The File

“Com’on Barnes,” Bucky sighed into his cup of overpriced coffee.

“Why do you want me to go?”

“You rarely get out, even coming here was a lot of bribing. My friend has a painting going up in that really nice gallery and he wanted me to come. Who knows! You might even make a friend, please?” crowds. New people and crowds and probably constricting clothing.

“Do I have to wear a suit?”

“It is formal,” definitely constricting clothing. “This will be good for you, promise.” he sighed, setting his head on the table. He didn’t lift his head as he said, “Just call an hour before coming over and I’ll be ready.” They talk for another twenty minutes before leaving. Bucky goes back into his little den, throwing himself on the couch, already regretting saying yes.

Exactly one week later, the man finds himself fussing over his hair in the bathroom. He wore a navy blue button down and black slacks that Sam had gotten him. He was trying to tie his hair in a bun, but every hair tie he tried and snapped with his hand. After the tenth try, he managed to get it all in a somewhat presentable bun. Sam shows up, looking much better than Bucky feels. Sam tries to reassure him that he looks fine, but Bucky can’t even find it in himself to believe.

He didn’t go out often. He preferred to ‘hermit’, as Sam called it, in his dinky little apartment. The man usually only went out for missions and therapy sessions at the VA. He wasn’t comfortable in crowds without a weapon. Currently, he had a small dagger strapped by his ankle. It was the most Sam would let him bring.

The gallery itself was very nice. There weren’t a ton of crowds and the halls were big enough so he wouldn’t feel claustrophobic but small enough for him to see everything. Sam’s friend was...he was, well, great.

“Hi, my name is Steve Rogers,” he barely came up to Bucky’s shoulders, blond hair hanging in front of his bright blue eyes. He had a too-large sweater on, the collar of his white shirt poking out. Bucky didn’t understand he fluttery feeling in his chest.

“James Barnes, but you can call me Bucky.” Steve was amazing. He knew everything about every piece of art, so excited to talk about it all. Bucky was content to listen to it, nodding along to Sam’s comments.

A couple hours later and the building had slowly cleared out. The three men were all walking home, the sun just starting to go down. Eventually, they came up to Sam’s house. Bucky reassured him that he could walk the rest of the way home, a couple more blocks down the road. Steve walked with him, managing to have a pretty normal conversation. They stopped in front of Bucky’s apartment, Bucky fiddling with his keys.

“Thanks for coming out tonight. Sam told me you usually don’t go out.”

“Yeah, this was nice though. I’ve been meaning to get out more,”

“Cool, I-I should go..” Bucky turned around, attempting to unlock the door when Steve calls out behind him. He turns around and Steve is red-faced, with a nervous smile and wringing his hands together.

“I, um, I have another showing next week, smaller than this one, but...would you want to possibly come with me and maybe get coffee or something after? I mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to but-”

“Sure,” Steve lit up like Christmas had come early, and so did Bucky.

 

*

 

Friday PM 

 

(10:43) _Thanks for paying for dinner Buck, you really didn’t have to_

(10:46) **You paid last time, now it’s even :)**

(10:46) _until the next time…_

(10:47) **Next time?**

(10:48) _I’m visiting a friend Tuesday morning, how about slightly late lunch?_

(10:50) **Deal.**

(10:51) _I get if you don’t wanna tell me about it, but are you ok? You seemed stressed after that phone call_

(10:52) **Yeah...it was just work, that kinda stuff.**

(10:52) _You work with Avengers and Sam, right?_

(10:53) **Yeah.**

(10:54) _Sorry if you don't want to talk about it, but you can always tell me if something is bothering you_

(10:54) _:)_

 

**[** **_Calling: Steve :)_ ** **]**

 

_“Is everything alright Buck?”_

**“Y-Yeah…can we just talk? I just...I can’t sleep…”**

_“Yeah! Do you want me to talk about something cause I was just painting and I’m pretty sure I told you everything at dinner so…”_

**“Just...what are you painting?”**

_“Oh, so someone apparently saw my piece in the gallery and actually got my contact information. She called me a couple of days ago and wants me to do this really big canvas and at first, I was like ‘well how big do you want it?’ and she just wants it HUGE! She offered to buy me this big one and she didn’t even give me a chance to buy it, she just kinda asked what type I preferred and sent it to me. So now I have this giant thing that takes up half of my living room and I don’t really know what I have going on but I think I have a color palette, she gave me a lot of free reign on th-…..Bucky?..........night Buck…”_

 

**[** **_Call disconnected_ ** **]**

**[** **_Time duration: 2h46m29s_ ** **]**

 

*

 

“So, you’re sure you want to tell him?”

“Of course, I mean...It’s been almost three months since we started dating and-...I just, I want him to know about my past because the more I hide it or put off telling him then he’ll just get mad and-”

“Barnes, he will not get mad at you for anything, and I’m here to support you when you do tell him. I’ve been friends with Steve for a long time, and I don’t think he’ll leave you just because of this.” Sam pulled the file out of his bag. Buc- no, it was the Winter Soldier’s file. Everything he’d done that they’ve managed to actually uncover. Papers on his life before the war, during, everyone he killed with Hydra...all of it. He wanted to give it to Steve, like getting something off his chest. He couldn’t hide it forever.

Sam passed it across the table, handing it to Bucky. He quickly shoved it in his little backpack, zipping it tight. Right on time, Tony walked in. The man called earlier and apparently had something to drop off at Sam’s office, but Bucky had scheduled an appointment around the same time. He walked in, clad in a new suit and carrying just about a dozen blueprints.

“Why hello my little handy helpers. I have a business meeting in an hour and I should be at the airport but I want you to look at these upgrade for your wings.”

“Can’t I get these from Jarvis?”

“I'm re-coding some bit of Jarvis and somethings are currently down right now, plus, it’s always fun doing things the old-fashioned way, right Tin boy?” Bucky just glares at him from his seat. “You could kill a man with that face. Anyway! I do need to show you some things before I go and I don’t know if grandpa here wants to listen so,” Tony moved out of the way as to let Bucky out the door. He stood grabbing his backpack and slinging it on his back.

“Hey,” Sam stopped him just before he left. “It’ll be fine. Call me once that all goes down, we can set up an appointment if you want.” Bucky just nods, tightening his grip on his backpack as he walked out.

The rest of the day was stressful. He messaged Steve just before making dinner, asking if he could come in the morning. Steve had answered with stupid emojis, saying that he might have to leave around nine for a meeting. They talked a little bit longer before Steve had to go work on a piece and Bucky had to..well, do nothing. He sat in his living room, attempting to pay attention to what was on TV, but giving up after an hour or so. He tried going to bed early, but the only thing going through his head was every possible way tomorrow could go, none of them good.

The next morning, he had an alarm set for eight am, bright and early. He had gotten dressed quicker than usual, all his nervousness wanting him to just get it over with. Bucky pulled the file out of his bag, making sure everything was still in there. Last night, after he gave up trying to sleep, he had gone through all the papers and made a couple notes. There was even a little flash drive attached to it. He hadn’t seen what was on it, but Sam had reassured him that there was nothing too ‘disturbing’ for him. Sam even told him not to look at it, which only made him panic slightly.

Steve’s house was always nice. It always smelled like paint, but not the gross, chemical smell. It had grown on the man. Steve smiled when he opened the door to Bucky, but it dropped at his expression. “Everything ok Buck? I know you want to talk-”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s fine. I just...this is good, right?” Steve moves for him to sit on the couch, closing the door behind him. He sits down next to Bucky, sitting criss-cross on the couch.

“What do you mean…’this’?”

“Like...us. Do you like us? Together?”

“Of course I do Buck.”

“So you want to continue…..this...us? Like, seriously?”

“Yes Bucky, I would like to continue going out with you. Where is all this coming from?” Bucky sets the folder on the coffee table. Steve glances at it but keeps his eyes on Bucky.

“It’s just...I really like you Steve, and you’re always so open about your past and I’ve barely told you anything because I thought it would scare you off, I don’t know. Did Sam tell you anything about me? Before we met?”

“Um, well, he told me that you worked together and I just assumed that was with the Avengers cause I haven't seen you around the VA before I met you. He said not to push anything if you didn’t want to talk about your past...if that’s what this is-”

“No. I need to tell you about my past if we want to keep doing this because if I don’t tell you then if something goes wrong it’ll be my fault and-”

“Bucky.” Steve was leaning forward, setting a hand on his right shoulder. “Relax. You can tell me whatever you want, just relax.” Bucky picked up the folder, setting it in between himself and Steve.

“I’m gonna give this to you. It’s everything I did...before, I was an ‘Avenger’. It’s not good, most of it, in many ways that might possibly make you hate me because a sane person probably would but I kinda hope that isn’t the case...but I want you to go through it and just try to understand _why_ I never told you this and I haven’t really told anyone about this besides a shit ton of doctors and Sam. So I want you to read this and I’m going to go because I want you to do this by yourself without me hunched over you but like-”

“Buck. It’s fine. I’ll read this, but after I do, can I come over later. We can talk and watch a movie or whatever, deal?”

“If you want...then sure.”

 

*

 

_Name:_ **_James Barnes, B._ **

_Birthday:_ **_March 10th 1917_ **

_Service serial no._ **_32557038_ **

_Branch of service:_ **_Army_ **

 

_James Barnes served in the 107th Infantry Regiment in 1942. He was captured during his enlistment, along with the rest of his regiment, by Hydra, a known Nazi organization. He was saved by another group of soldiers, who eventually formed the Howling Commandos. Only a little while later, he had fallen from a train in an attempt to capture Arnim Zola, where he was officially declared dead._

  


_-_

  
  


_Test subject 1: James Barnes_

 

_It will only be referred to as Subject 1 as to assist with MKUltra; Winter Soldier Project. It came out of surgery 3h52m ago, surgery successful and arm plate installed. Consult the heads about continuing the program and adjusting the serum._

  


 

_-_

  
  


_The Soldier has finished training, will be tested for the heads before sent out on a mission._

  


 

_-_

  
  


_The Asset seems to be doing well on missions. It responds well to everything. Careful to avoid targets in the Americas, as it seems to remember it’s past. Suggest to heads on amping up the program to expand targets to the Americas._

  


 

_-_

  
  


_The Asset has been found in lower Manhattan in an old warehouse. Evidence shows he was there for the 4 days he was missing. The heads have decided his punishment will be a full wipe before the next cryo sleep and another 4 days in the pit, no rest._

  


 

_-_

  
  


_The Asset has adjusted well to working in America, though it must have a handler at all times. The heads are pushing more missions on, Asset will require another wipe before next mission._

  


 

_-_

  
  


_The heads have decided to send the Asset to the Avengers, in 5 weeks time. It will require another wipe and 2 cocktails before sent. The armory upgraded it’s muzzle, with hope to install before the mission._

  
  
  
-  
  
  


_“Hey, Steve. I decided to make this after Barnes first met you. I knew something was going on with you two before you even went out on a date. I also knew that someday he was gonna want to tell you and then panic over how because he tends to do that a lot when it comes to feelings. So let me just say the obvious; yes, He is James Barnes, born in 1917. Long story short, he’s here. He went through...a lot, to get here. I’m talking, you’ve probably seen it already, but it was decades of torture. He’s still working on healing, I don’t think he’ll ever be able to...relax, if that makes sense.”_

_“He became an Avenger to take down Hydra. I told you a bit about them, an old Nazi group that is a pain in our ass. I think he still does it because it gives him...purpose. He went through so much, and he uses that to stop the people that did it to him, kinda ironic actually.”_

_“You helped him a lot, actually. Like, not even in a subtle way. He goes outside more and he doesn’t do his whole brooding face thing he does all the time. Even the others notice, keep trying me to get me to say what happened. But you do that man wonders, and I don’t think you would, but don’t let all of this turn you away. He likes you, a lot, and don’t try to be all coy with me. I can see how you talk about him, sappy as shit.”_

_“On the rest of this drive, I put some of the videos we have from Hydra- they’re not too bad, but nothing we had was good. He knows what I am showing you and who knows? He might tell you more about it. I don’t know, not up to me. Anyway, just please think about it and talk to him before you decide anything.”_

 

_*_

 

Saturday PM

 

(5:14) _If I remember correctly, I was promised a movie night??_

(5:16) **You...still want to?**

(5:17) _Of course, I can be there in 10, that good for you?_

(5:20) **I’ll start the popcorn, door should be unlocked :)**

(5:20) _:) <3 _

  
  


Bucky had been panicking since he had left Steve’s apartment. He couldn’t go out and do anything and he didn’t want to message Sam, not until he talked with Steve. It was a lot of pacing, turning on and off the TV, and a _lot_ of talking to himself. He actually managed to settle down a bit around three, plugging in his headphones and pulling up one of his favorite playlists, music from his time. It was the one thing he remembered right away; old jazz that would play in the bars. He liked some modern music, but when he was stressed out, he liked something he knew.

He hadn’t realized he fell asleep until he woke up to his phone buzzing. Bucky didn’t know whether or not Steve would actually want to come over, but he was happy when the other did. Of course, the happiness was buried under fear and nervousness, but it was definitely there.

Bucky grabbed a pack of microwave popcorn, tossing it in and going to pick a movie. He didn’t really know what to pick. He wasn’t that caught up, but he doubted he could pay attention to something he had never seen. He settled for Wall-E, sliding the disc in and skipping past all the previews. He jumped when he heard the door open.

“Bucky?”

“Y-Yeah, over here!” Steve shuffles in, tossing his leather messenger bag on the coffee table. He smiles when he sees the movie and curls on the couch. Bucky grabs the popcorn from the kitchen. He sits down next to Steve, but the other curls into him, resting his head on Bucky’s shoulder. They don’t say anything until ten minutes in, when Bucky sees him looking at the bag more than the screen.

“You can ask questions.”

“I didn’t want to seem like it was all I cared about,” It was quiet for another couple minutes.

“Does it still hurt?”

“Sometimes, but Stark helped a lot. I can take it off if it hurts, but it’s better than what it used to be.”

“Do you miss it? The forties, I mean.”

“In some ways, yeah...I miss knowing things. I’m still playing catch up and sometimes it's...exhausting…”

“Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Yeah,” Bucky doesn’t say anything, neither does Steve. He doesn’t ask any more questions, perfectly fine with Bucky’s answers. Near the end of the movie, after they finish the popcorn, Bucky does speak up.

“Remember what we were talking about last week, that, uh…”

“I remember.”

“I talked with Sam about it, I think I know the word now, but I’m just,”

“What is it?”

“He said ‘Asexual’.”

“Ok, did he say anything else?”

“He said it might be because of everything that happened and that it happens to some people because of that. He also said that it’s normal to be in a relationship but I was looking it up and I-”

“Buck, I promise you, I do not care if you don’t want to have sex, that is the last thing I care about. On this note, I don’t care if you are a hundred years old or anything.”

“Cool…”

“Cool.”

  
  
  


“Do you wanna move in with me?”


End file.
